The Seven Checkpoints -Moral Boundaries (02.24.08)

Scripture 1 Thessalonians 4:3-8 “It is God's will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God; and that in this matter no one should wrong his brother or take advantage of him. The Lord will punish men for all such sins, as we have already told you and warned you. For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life. Therefore, he who rejects this instruction does not reject man but God, who gives you his Holy Spirit.”

“Many of the things that you love to do God hates.”

Today we are going to talk about moral boundaries. (Explain “The Seven Checkpoints”)

First what is a boundary? It is a predetermined set of restrictions. Every arena of life has them. Relationship thrives because there is some form, no matter how loose, of boundaries or restrictions. Boundaries are something that should not change. They should be universal.

For example, what happens if you are spending a nice spring weekend with your kids shooting baskets on their 8’ rim? Then you come in for your league game at the Y and the basket is suddenly 10’. What does that do to your shot? It throws it off. Because your mind, eye and body were conditioned to throw the ball in basket that was 8’ high.

No matter how important or trivial a particular boundary may be it was established for a reason. Take stop signs for instance. What is the central purpose for a stop sign? To make you stop so that you and others may be safe. (Talk about stop sign at corner of Independence and Turtleback).

Let’s face it no one likes to be told what they are supposed to do. Your children don’t, your teenagers don’t and neither do you. No one likes to be told they can only go so far. Why? Because we think we know better. We think we are more mature or more sophisticated and strong enough to not let that boundary apply to us. But so what. Who cares what you think. Boundaries are never established on an individual basis. A boundary is always about something else. Honestly, the stop sign does not have a disclaimer, “only if you are a student driver…or…only if there is a police officer watching…or…only if you could get hurt…” It says, “STOP!”

Look what the Bible says about people who think they are smart enough or that a particular rules don’t apply to them. Proverbs 28:26, “He who trusts in himself is a fool, but he who walks in wisdom is kept safe.”

Ephesians 5:15-20, “Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord's will is. Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit. Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.”

Paul is saying, “be careful how you live…” When the scriptures say something such as, “do not get drunk…” what does that mean? (don’t get drunk) It is a command. It is black and white. Let me ask you a question, the last time you had one too many and crossed that line, whether socially or not, did you repent? Or, did you not think it was a big deal? A lot of times we have a “no harm, no foul” mentality with sin. If there is no harm then I haven’t sinned, therefore, I don’t need to repent, because there is nothing to repent from.

Now look what Psalm 36:2 says, “For in his own eyes he flatters himself too much to detect or hate his sin.” The Psalmist says, you have filled yourself with so many lies, you don’t even recognize, let alone hate the sin in your life, or even recognize you have overstepped God’s moral boundaries. What happens when we don’t recognize sin in our lives? (We don’t repent of it)

So many times we fall into this mindset of convincing ourselves we are good enough with the lifestyle we are living. In fact we even bring God into the discussion, we say things like, “Just because I do this or that doesn’t mean God will love me any less.” WOW!!! You got me there.

However what is truth? Notice who the “he” is in this Psalm, it is the wicked. When you flatter yourself with “it’s okay, God still loves me.” You are behaving just like the wicked. Does that make you angry? Does that make you uncomfortable? Good, because God likes that kind of emotion. He hates wickedness and he wants you to hate it as well.

We like most parents teach Esther not to use the word ‘hate’. However, when I searched the word hate I discovered 128 verses containing the word hate. Here are a few in the context of moral boundaries.

Amos 5:15
Hate evil, love good…

Psalm 97:10
Let those who love the LORD hate evil…

Psalm 119:104
I gain understanding from your precepts; therefore I hate every wrong path.

Psalm 139:21
Do I not hate those who hate you, O LORD…

Proverbs 8:13
To fear the LORD is to hate evil; I hate pride and arrogance, evil behavior and perverse speech.

Romans 12:9
Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good.

You see no one really questions God’s love them. But one must call into question your love. Your love for God. You see too many times we display an attitude of “What is the bare minimum I have to do and still be saved?” When the real attitude should be, “God what all can I do for you?”

As I was searching the scriptures to see what God has to say about moral boundaries, I discovered a unique pattern. When God would say things like, “Don’t do this.” Or like in Romans 12:9 “Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good.”

It is preceded or followed by community. Serving one another. Encouraging one another. Putting others above yourself. You see when we display an attitude of “I am mature enough to do this, or this doesn’t apply to me” We are not obeying God by taking responsibility to put others needs before our own.

I want to look at a man in the Old Testament who was considered a good king over Israel, but he did allow himself to be aligned with an enemy of God.

2 Chronicles 19:1-3 “When Jehoshaphat king of Judah returned safely to his palace in Jerusalem, Jehu the seer, the son of Hanani, went out to meet him and said to the king, "Should you help the wicked and love (or make alliance with) those who hate the LORD ? Because of this, the wrath of the LORD is upon you. There is, however, some good in you, for you have rid the land of the Asherah poles and have set your heart on seeking God."

In a commentary on this passage respected Theologian, Matthew Henry states, “In sending him a reproof for his affinity with Ahab. It is a great mercy to be made sensible of our faults, and to be told in time wherein we have erred, that we may repent and amend the error before it be too late.” You see the prophet called the King of Judah out. He said you have made an unholy union with a blatant enemy of God. This sin, could be destructive for the kingdom (note: kingdom of Israel)

Guess how the king responded to this awareness? He repented. He made his fault right in the eyes of the Lord and the people. In verse four we find Jehoshaphat gathering the people and once again turning them towards back to the Lord.

You see you have two choices when you are confronted with sin; 1. To repent or 2. To rebel. Too many times, we choose the latter. Why? Because repentance is admittance, and we don’t like to admit our faults.

Illustration: My Great-Uncle’s wife had passed away several years ago (and he has since passed away too). He finally made the decision to move into an assisted living facility. He was a healthy, debonair widower in his mid 80’s. He began to develop a friendship with a young lady in the facility. He respectfully called her, “My lady friend.” My mom’s brother, a younger man, wise to the ways of the times told him, “You know Harold, it is the 90’s now and you don’t have to be married anymore to have sex.”

All Harold wanted was a friend, a companion. In-fact, he was appalled at the advice given him. When is the last time any of us were ‘appalled’ at the flagrant sin in our culture. Our society parades sin. We are entertained by shows depicting detestable sins. We squirm at the latest slasher flick as it pushes the boundaries of full-on cannibalism and human sacrifice. But it doesn’t matter what we do God is still going to love us.

Living your life within the moral boundaries God has set around his children is a display of his love for us and a very clear example of our love for him. We sit in the same chair week after week. We socialize with the same small group of friends and wonder why we as a church are not growing. Why? Because we are living outside the moral boundaries God has established.

God tells us; don’t go outside these guidelines I have set for you. Instead offer up praise to me. Encourage one another. Pray for one another. Take care of those who have needs. When we as a majority are living foolishly outside the moral boundaries God has established, He will not bless us. One reason we may not be growing is frankly because of sin in our lives.

But when we submit to the moral boundaries God has established for us out of devotion and love for him, he will bless us. Listen when we get caught up in the things God loves he blesses. When we get caught up in the things God hates, he curses. So where are you? I had to do some serious self-accountability in this area.

But you know what? I don’t even remember things I had to step away from. But I do remember stepping away. When we stop the flattery and admit our wrong and that we have stepped outside the boundaries God has established for his children, He will be praised, you will be blessed and the Kingdom will grow.

The Seven Checkpoints -Healthy Friendships(2.17.08)

Proverbs 13:20 “He who walks with the wise grows wise,
but a companion of fools suffers harm.”

A wise person is someone who knows the difference between right and wrong AND makes the right decision.

How important is it to pursue wisdom? What if you don’t necessarily care to be wise –according to the Bible? How many students you consider friends would you say are ‘wise’ based on a biblical definition?

Good friends are wise friends. Good friends know the difference between right and wrong. Good friends make good decisions. And it will always be easier for you to do the right thing when you are with the right people.

A fool is a person who knows the difference between right and wrong, BUT chooses to do wrong.

One of the recurring arguments students use with their parents and youth leaders goes something like this: “But I don’t do what they do. I just want to be where they are.” Or this: “I don’t drink; I just go to the parties.”

You need to stop and “give thought to [your] ways.” Oftentimes it is not what you do that causes you to get hurt. It is who you are with. It is the companion of fools – not the fool themselves – who will suffer harm.

Proverbs 13:10 “Pride only breeds quarrels,
but wisdom is found in those who take advice.”

Choosing friends: What are the top five qualities you want in a friend? Now –are your current friendships falling short of what you really want? Do you choose your friends? The truth is, you don’t really choose your friends. You merely gravitate toward acceptance. You hook up with the people who are most accepting of you.

Illustration: I was observing you guys when you entered the youth room. When you came in, you immediately went to a particular group of students. They were people you have something in common with. They accept you and you enjoy being around them. You didn't hold up your "Top 5 Characteristics of a Good Friend" and then make your decision who you spent time with, you spent time with your peers who accept you.

So if what we noticed is true, then you don’t really choose your friends. Your friends choose you. Have you ever noticed how some people act one way at church events and a completely different way during the week? They want to fit in, and they are willing to adapt themselves to different environments in order to gain the acceptance they crave.

Bottom line, your choice of friends has more to do with your desire to be accepted than a list of characteristics you draw up. You don’t choose your friends. You gravitate toward acceptance. Acceptance is a good thing. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be accepted. BUT acceptance by the wrong people can be determined to your life. Why? Because acceptance paves the way to influence.

Relationships don’t stand still. Genuine friendships move in a positive, mutually beneficial direction. Have you been friends with someone that only cares about doing what THEY want to do and not what you want to do? Not much fun is it?

Self Destructive Behavior. This is important to look out for, because, if your friends don’t care for their own well being, what makes you think they are going to care about you? Would you loan your car to someone who doesn’t take care of their care? Probably not. So why would you put your physical and emotional self in the hands of self destructive people?

A lack of solid convictions. They say things like,

“You have to do what you feel is right for you.”

“Everybody has to decide for themselves.”

“No one can tell other people what is right for them.”

Having healthy friendships is probably one of the deciding factors in whether or not you stay committed in your relationship with God. Because acceptance is so important to you. You will go back on commitments you vowed you would never neglect. Your need to be accepted will trump your relationship with God.

Do you care more about the friend or the friendship? This is an important question to ask because here is what happens as a result of caring about the friendship most. If you care about a particular friendship you have with someone, then chances are you wont say or do much that will jeopardize that friendship. You don't necessarily care about the person you say is your friend, but rather you are more concerned with how that friendship makes you feel. Now lets say you know without a doubt that 'friend' is not a Christian. You know that non-Christians will suffer in eternal separation from God. However, because the status you receive by being this persons friend is more important to you than their salvation, you don't risk the friendship by saying anything about their need for Jesus.

Consider the alternative. If you care more about that person -the friend than you do the friendship, then you are willing to risk the status you receive from being their friend to talk to them about Jesus -even though it may cost you the friendship.

God knows your friendships and friends are important to you. He knows you value the acceptance you feel when you are around them. However, as His child, he would rather you influence them, than them influence you.

The Seven Checkpoints -Spiritual Disciplinees (2.10.08)

I have a theory that events like church camp, summer conferences and other Christian Gatherings do not work. The reason I believe this is because they focus so much on the heart and on emotions. There is so little emphasis on the mind –on a transformed mind.

Jeremiah 17:9 says, “The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?” So if the heart is deceitful, then why do we play on emotions to get you to make a decision? Do you want me to prove my point? How many of you at one time or another have made very passionate commitments at camp or some other type of conference?

Now, how many of you have within one month gone back to the exact same lifestyle you lived before camp? So there is something that is not happening. One of the reasons I believe commitments don’t last is because students, youth ministers and camp directors think the camp experience is all that’s needed. And the fact is that it is not. It may be a good start, but it is not the end all.

Romans 12:2 “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.”

The only way our minds can be transformed is by changing our perspective. When you see as God sees, you will do as God says.

When you look at this photo what do you see?

Some of you saw an old woman and some of you saw a young beautiful woman. Same picture, but different perspectives. We will begin to see things differently when we change from viewing circumstances from our perspective to God's perspective.

Mark 1:35 “Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed.”

1.) Solitude / Silence Psalm 46:10 “"Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth."

2.) Prayer Matthew 6:9-13 “"This, then, is how you should pray:
" 'Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name,
10your kingdom come,
your will be done
on earth as it is in heaven.
11Give us today our daily bread.
12Forgive us our debts,
as we also have forgiven our debtors.
13And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from the evil one.”

3.) Scriptures / Meditate on God’s Word Psalm 119:11, 105 “I have hidden your word in my heart
that I might not sin against you.” “Your word is a lamp to my feet
and a light for my path.”

James 1:22-25 “Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. 23Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror 24and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. 25But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it—he will be blessed in what he does.”

4.) Journal 1 Timothy 4:7 “Have nothing to do with godless myths and old wives' tales; rather, train yourself to be godly.” (keep track of what God is doing)

The one thing that will make each of these disciplines become habit is for you to do them with purpose. Jesus got up before anyone else so he could spend intimate time with God. That should be our goal too.

Illustration: Losing Weight it takes time…it comes off a lot harder then it goes on. What do I have to do to gain weight? (Nothing) What do I have to do to lose weight? (Work, hard). Same is true for your faith. In order to develop a transformed mind, it will take work, it will take consistency and you will need to have a goal in mind.

All that goal needs to be is a desire to get closer to God…to be found by him.

Illustration: Hide and Seek –the anticipation of being found. Our hidden place caused us our senses to be tuned in. when we wait quietly in stillness and solitude, our senses will be attuned in anticipation of being found by a Holy God.

The Seven Checkpoints -Authentic Faith (2.03.08)

Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.”

We are starting a new series today to coincide with our student small groups. So today we are going to look at the most basic checkpoint and that is having an authentic faith. We aren’t going to talk about whether or not you have faith, but we are going to look at whether or not your faith is strong enough to stand up to the tests that come your way.

What does the term, “Authentic” mean to you? What images does it draw up in your mind? If I have an autographed football used in last year’s Colt’s Superbowl victory, how import would the certificate of authenticity be? (Very important because that is what gives it its worth, value and proves it’s real)

Unfortunately, one area that causes students to give up on their faith is:

Immediate Circumstances

*When tragedy strikes close to home, our emotions ‘need’ an answer.

* Circumstantial faith requires us to interpret situations around us. If I issue a prayer request and that request doesn’t take place, so I interpret that God can’t do what he says he will do?

Illustration: “Fairy Tales” In all the Fairy tales I’ve watched, when the magic spell or curse is broken what instantly happens? All the dark, dead imagery becomes brilliant colors and beautiful blossoms. The sleeping beauty is awaken by a kiss of the handsome prince. Now that makes for good, “Happily ever after…” stories, but follow this.

When you become a Christian the curse of sin is defeated, but your circumstances may not change. The problem becomes when we think our new life as a believer should instantly result in perfect circumstances.

We can’t make conclusions about God based on an immediate circumstance of life. Many teenagers and adults make conclusions based on the immediate circumstances around them.

Ask: If God doesn’t answer your prayers by next week, do you wonder if He even exists? If you don’t see God at work in your immediate circumstances, do you lose your confidence in Him?

Can your faith be summarized by this statement: “What’s happening now and what I’m feeling now determine what I believe for now?”

The passage in Proverbs says to, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart…” If you are trusting in the Lord with all your heart, that means trust him in the difficult times too. You see authentic faith is trusting, believing that God is who he says he is and he will do what he says he will do.

It goes on to say, “…lean not on your own understanding…” How many of you at one point in your life were confused with God? You didn’t understand the reasoning as to why something was happening? (We all have)

Illustration: When a dad tells his 4 year-old son, “He loves him.” Then takes the boy to the doctor’s office for his yearly vaccination shots the boy may not believe his dad really loves him, “why would he let him suffer pain that way?” But when the boy is older and realizes his dad loved him enough to do what was necessary for his son’s health.

Don’t let immediate circumstances sway you from God. Trust in Him, don’t rely on your own ability to interpret or understand a situation. In that you will develop a deep, authentic faith.

What faith is NOT.

Good working definition of faith: “God is who he says he is and he will do what he has promised to do.”

*Faith is not about you –it’s about God holding up his end of the bargain.

What are some promises you can think of that God has made to us? One promise you will never read is one where God says, “If you trust me, I will give you anything you want. I will take away all the pain and hurt and embarrassment you have endured.” That is not a promise of God –Joel Osteen.

One promise we do find is, found in Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the Lord…and he will make your paths straight.” Does that say he will make everything smooth for you? NO! Does that say he will keep all of your family members alive and healthy? NO! Does that say he will let you have popularity, friends, boy/girlfriends and good grades? NO. But it does promise to put the burden of protection and guidance on God.

God has not promised to deliver us from our circumstances. He has promised to deliver us through our circumstances.

Don’t get caught up in the lie that you are the one that has to put on a show for God in order for him to respond. Don’t let your lack of understanding, of an immediate circumstance lead you away from Him. Understand that faith is not about you, it is about God…being who he says he is and doing what he says he will do.